Thursday, April 19, 2018
Getting Married Can Cause Anxiety
You’re excited to spend the rest of your life with your partner, but it can also cause you anxiety to think about being with the same person forever. Remember that feeling anxious before getting married is natural. It’s a big deal to choose someone that you will be committing to being with indefinitely. Also, remember that being with someone you love and adore is a warm feeling that is the opposite of loneliness. Finding someone to share your life with is a beautiful thing. You can confide your secrets in them, share your hopes and dreams for the future and start to build a life with this person. You made a conscious decision to be with your partner for many reasons. You love that person, you feel comfortable with them, you feel understood by them and they add value to your life. That’s how you know you’ve made the right decision to get married when your partner-to-be enriches your life and makes you feel good.
You might not be aware, but your partner might have similar fears to yours. You’re nervous about tying the knot, and so are they. But if you don’t talk about your fears with one another, you might not realize that you have similar concerns. Maybe they’re slightly different than your worries, but you still have trepidation about getting married. Having an open and honest dialogue about your feelings can help you better understand one another and connect.
However, it might be difficult to face your fears about marriage. You might be concerned that expressing them to your partner will hurt their feelings even if that’s not what your intent was. This is a great time to consider pre-marital counseling. Whether you’re working with an online therapist or going to a therapist’s office, pre-marital counseling can help you and your partner get on the same page before you’re legally wed to each other. A licensed therapist who is trained to work with couples can guide the two of you down the right path. This person is dedicated to helping both of you feel more comfortable becoming an official married couple.
There are many things to discuss in pre-marital counseling, such as do the two of you want to have children? Do the two of you want to stay where you are or move to another city or even another country? There are so many things that the two of you can talk about in the presence of a therapist. Use the opportunity to express your individual opinions and if there are disagreements, let the therapist help you work them out.
People often think of couple’s counseling as something that happens after you are married for a long time and your relationship is going downhill. This doesn’t have to be the case! You can create the solid foundation for a relationship before you get married by talking things out before you say “I do.” A pre-marital counselor’s job is to help the two of you see one another’s perspectives and fortify your bond before you are officially a married couple. You will come out of these therapy sessions feeling unified, and hopefully, the anxiety you felt about getting married will have lessened. Wishing you a happy wedding!
Sarah Fader is the CEO and Founder of Stigma Fighters, a non-profit organization that encourages individuals with mental illness to share their personal stories. She has been featured in The New York Times, The Washington Post, The Atlantic, Quartz, Psychology Today, The Huffington Post, HuffPost Live, and Good Day New York.
Sarah is a native New Yorker who enjoys naps, talking to strangers, and caring for her two small humans and two average-sized cats. Like six million other Americans, Sarah lives with panic disorder. Through Stigma Fighters, Sarah hopes to change the world, one mental health stigma at a time.
Photo Credit : Heather Jowett Photography
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